Tuesday, 17 July 2012

Candle Meditation



I’m relatively new to meditation but it’s something that everyone seems to recommend consistently for every ailment in the same way that the benefits of apples, water and a good night’s sleep will never go out of fashion.

Meditation is a relatively simple process in theory. You sit or lie in a quiet position and simply let thoughts pass in and out of your mind without analysing or obsessing. In this way, you practice mindfulness. You attempt to quiet and steady the mind.

I’ve been practising a variation of a meditation/self-hypnosis supposedly used to banish fear, but I think it could equally be used to obtain focus, ease you to sleep or create a feel or mood of power, or even just a deeper connection with the elements and the soul. Fire can produce a powerful atmosphere that can totally transform and transcend regular surroundings. If you’ve ever entered a temple or place of worship, the use of candles really can elevate a basic setting to a spiritual and instinctual place. It can invoke passion, anger, lust or leadership, but when it flickers with a steady flame, it can be a source of great comfort and strength.

The original meditation is very simple.

You sit or lie somewhere quiet and light a candle (scented or unscented is a matter of preference).

Focus on the candle for anywhere between 20-30 minutes.

During this time, simply concentrate on the candle and allow your thoughts to come and go. The idea of concentrating sharpens focus and serves as a distraction. If you recall the feeling of sitting around a camp fire or by your fire place on a cold day, you’ll know there’s something soothing and calming about the pulse of a steady fire flaring nearby. This distraction enables fear to melt (or squirm) away, even if temporarily. It’s a great way to alleviate stress and anxiety and to put your trust back into all things elemental.

The exercise also encourages you, once you’ve practiced focusing for 20-30 minutes, to use this time to focus on the issue or problem causing you fear and think of ways to resolve/ease the feeling that arises. An answer, solution, relief or acceptance may come to you during these moments.

I find it difficult to sit in complete silence so I’ve created a playlist which is essentially a mixture of Native American and Middle Eastern music (with a few curve balls thrown in).

None of the songs include singing, and those that do are chanted/sung in a foreign language, meaning that I don’t focus on the words. Instead I focus on the beat and swell of the music, music that represents and solidifies what I want to feel.

I let the playlist run and stare at the flame.

I feel a strong sense of comfort, calm and the greatest paradox of all, peaceful and powerful.

During this time, I simply sit and stare at the flame, I let myself think thoughts I want to purge myself of and mentally place them into the flame. I then admire the flame. In focusing on it, I see all of its details. I start to refine and focus my thoughts repeating affirmations, ideas, desires that I want to manifest in my life and in myself. Finally, I lose all thoughts altogether and instead I just feel….alive, real, okay…

As I said, this meditation/hypnosis combined with the right music really calms the soul.

It can ease fears…

Sooth you to sleep…

Placate anxiety…

Inspire creativity…

Wake you up…

Get you in touch with fire and all traits associated with it…

Help you feel powerful…

Help you focus…

Inspire ambition/inspiration/action…

Purge you of toxic thoughts/feelings

I urge you to try it out and see what feelings arise and melt away….

Happy meditating!

Original meditation/hypnosis taken from 'The Answer' by Glenn Harrold

Two Wolves - A Cherokee Legend



An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Monday, 16 July 2012

The Answer - Glenn Harrold



I’m a big lover of self-help books. It’s not that I perceive myself as a particularly damaged individual in desperate need of guidance and coaching, but I am most definitely an over thinker, and I find such books very calming and ‘stilling’. I enjoy such a book at particularly perilous times; before my first stint to Thailand I got myself straight to Gatwick’s WHSmiths and loaded myself up with ‘feel good’ books or books about individuals triumphing over adversity, anything to make myself feel braver and more competent by osmosis. This time, wandering around Heathrow, I picked up a little book called ‘The Answer’ by Glenn Harrold. The inspiring motif intricately written on the cover urges readers to ‘supercharge the Law of Attraction and find the secret to true happiness’. The back conveniently reminds us ‘the secret to happiness is within you, unlock the secret with the answer’.

Now there’s something tantalizing about a book called ‘The Answer’, especially for someone as curious and into taboo as me. First of all, what’s the question?  Clever marketing strategy there. They know that people like me won’t be able to resist. The aesthetic of the book is also rather desirable. It’s a small book with gold lettering on a red backdrop; red – the colour of lust, anger, passion, volatility –it could almost be a miniature bible. What is it promising? The meaning of life? The way to happiness?

The ‘answer’ if I’m honest is ever so slightly disappointing.

Firstly, the good points.

It’s a short, concise book which means no lengthy reading, no exaggerated, tongue-twisting spiralling sentences that could be boiled down to a meagre five word sentence and no trawling through for specks of nourishing heart and soul feeding advice. The booklet is divided into sections focusing on a different ‘theme’; love, fear, career, wealth etc. and providing to the point advice on how to maximise your positive potential in these areas by harnessing the power of the law of attraction and combining this with thoughtful meditation and hypnosis. The book then provides examples of meditations and exercises that enhance the message of each chapter, enabling the reader to utilise their desires in this area.

It encourages you to think about what you want in each area of your life and then attempt to think/feel it into existence. Of course thinking and feeling alone do not cause miracles to materialise out of thin air, but they are a starting point. Rarely do you hear of positive things happening to negative people. Usually it’s because they wouldn’t recognise a positive occurrence if it smacked into them, but also it’s because negative people rarely attract positive things, and if they do, not consistently. In saying this, a rapist won the lottery once so….

I like the simple, straightforward advice. ‘What do you want? Think positive. Feel positive. Complete this exercise. Meditate’. It’s all about getting you into a good head and heart space so that you can encourage good things into your life and allow your desires to manifest. It also encourages and inspires action and doing.

I definitely agree that it’s true that usually when things aren’t happening for us, it’s because some part of us is resisting it, whether through fear, anxiety or security. This negativity can appear in many guises, from procrastination to inaction to apathy. When we think positively and move
freely, there is something contagious and infectious about this. 9 times out of 10, people will be encouraged, inspired and motivated by your confidence and competency and things will start to happen in some way. When we’re feeling negative and insecure we tend to shy away from opportunities, challenges and experiences that would promote our growth and materialise the things we want. If you aren’t feeling pretty, you won’t want to go on that date, if you don’t think you know what you’re talking about, you’ll mess up the interview if you show up at all.

I’ve read various books that revolve around this subject matter: the power of our thoughts, the importance of understanding them and utilizing positive thinking and hypnosis or meditation to increase our potential and contentment.

Read this book if:

  • You like a short, concise, to the point guide

  • You’re a ‘doer’ prepared to complete exercises

  • You are prepared to combine the law of attraction with hypnosis exercises

  • You’re on the move and need to tuck a little positive self-help away

  • You’re looking forward to the candle exercise for relieving fear. This worked powerfully for me


Leave this book if:

  • You’d rather a more extensive read about the law of attraction and hypnosis

  • You don't want to use meditation/hypnosis

  • You're looking for an answer rather than an action plan


 

 

Sunday, 15 July 2012

Making Memories in Mehico (home of Bumblebee man and Apocolypto)

Place:

Grand Riviera Princess All Suites Resort & Spa – Riviera Maya – Playa del Carmen - Mexico

Duration:

14 days

Day One:

There is something about travelling that makes me feel like a child. In fact, I think it’s one of the best ways of connecting with your inner child there is. You’re seeing everything afresh for the first time with new eyes. You don’t understand a thing. In many ways you’re excluded by barriers of language, custom and culture. Instead you sink into your surroundings with your senses; you taste food, you smell the air, you exchange a smile with a local. You rely a lot more on intuition, instinct, and animalism. You’re the stranger, the wanderer in a land that’s already established itself and knows what it’s doing. There’s something equally terrifying and exhilarating about that.

The journey to Mexico enlivens and invigorates me. I feel gratitude and appreciation (two emotions I don’t think I feel enough of...) flood through me as I sit beside my mum, nearby people that I love on the plane and we discuss a myriad of issues and subjects with a glass of complimentary champagne. I feel that familiar feeling, that delightful lift as the aeroplane takes off. It’s a feeling I’ve loved since I was a child. It’s the physical pull of being dragged away from one place to another. There’s a little resistance, but overall you’re ready, and you can’t resist it.

We arrive in a thunderstorm which is unexpected but atmospheric. G feels unwell for much of the journey, we are all exhausted and the coach leaks on us, but when we arrive at the hotel, it’s a palace. I immediately feel welcomed and enveloped by its palatial halls and the gentle sway of palm trees in the hostile rain. It’s the perfect mix of nature and civilisation. If you’ve ever seen ‘Queen of the Damned’ it reminded me of the kind of grounds that Akasha and Lestat vacate too. There’s something mesmerising and magical about it – it’s Mexico!

The grounds are abundant with beautiful statues and gardens flourishing with beauty and wildness. A day of travel sucks the life out of you. We all fall asleep quite soon. PS our room is upgraded and we have our own Jacuzzi! (I only end up using it once the whole time by the way...)

Day 2:

I awake to the best breakfast I’ve ever eaten. You’re probably familiar with a quotation accredited to Adelle Davis which goes as follows:

‘Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper.’

For the first time in my life I did just that (except the lunch and dinner were eaten as though my reign was still continuing...)

I had three plates of fruits, eggs, tacos, bacon, sausages and pasta (pretty much all at the same time). I had my 5 a day by breakfast. Never have I seen such variety. Give a person a choice and they might make the right one. My stomach wrestled between whether to feed me light fruit or stodgy pastries, so of course I placated myself by eating both.

The food consumed was swam off (probably) in one of the many phenomenal pools. This is the pool where all the activities take place. The entertainment crew, a gaggle of gorgeous girls and boys, arrange competitive challenges, Spanish lessons, dance classes, pool aerobics and volleyball games, amongst an assortment of other activities. But if you’d rather not participate in all of the excessive sport and exercise, you can swim or saunter over to the pool bar and drink yourself into oblivion with a very sugary cocktail.

The sea is the beautiful turquoise you’d expect of the Caribbean, a light frothy magical blue-green and so shallow all the way through. Powder white sands guide you down although one part of the sea was full of sea weed thanks to the stormy weather. The sea is one of the few places on earth where I feel the closest thing to contentment. I like the way you float and bob along, the way the water guides you and you can also guide it. I like the way you can slice through it like butter, or just float on it like a butterfly pinned by blue. I like the way you can genuinely let go of everything in the sea as you stare out to the water or back to the mainland or up at the sky...or down at the sea floor. I like the way you can lose time and feel like a mermaid. I just don’t like when I get salt overload in my eyes or knocked silly by a wave...

Naturally I was exhausted by all this investigating (...) so I had to have 4 plates at lunch to tide me over. I had a nap before dinner...(all this sleeping and eating is making me sound like a toddler rather than the 23 year old I am).

The people are beautiful. The women are tigers. The men...gods. Dinner...sleep...happiness...

Day 3:

Dad wakes up at 3am and me with him. After that my sleep is ‘in and out’. I can’t keep in it. So I get out of it. I sit out on the balcony and start my diary. I like the world in the early morning. It’s peaceful, calm and quiet. It’s nice to think of other people sleeping before there day starts. It’s nice to think of the potential and opportunity of each day. I listen to and photograph the birds. That’s another thing that makes me feel really happy, as in ‘heart might burst happy’ – seeing animals.

Each day they know what their doing, and even if it’s the same thing, they’re always happy doing it.

We go swimming after breakfast (I have 4 plates) and I meet a woman from Kentucky at the pool bar. We get to talking, and she introduces me to her husband. Americans are instantly friendly. There are a lot of negative stereotypes levelled at Americans – ignorant, obese, stupid. I didn’t find any of these to be true. Yes, a few were big, but no bigger than you’d find back home, and if I lived off of an American diet from the start of life I would probably be the size of a house too. Overall, I find them to be a welcoming and hospitable people. We get burgers and nachos from the beach...they also do hot dogs and paella.

This is a great option for all the sun worshippers and sea surfers. You can go up as many times as you want. Luckily for my waistline, I only went up once this time. Coatis and their babies gather by the grill. If you’ve never heard of a Coati before, it’s a small mammal that looks like a cross between an aardvark and a raccoon. They look like little Disney cartoons come to life. Despite being wild animals with human feeding prohibited, many holiday makers enjoyed chucking pieces of meat, bread and cheese meaning that the hungry animals made a habit of gathering around any human they saw with a handful of food. Some might find them annoying, but I find them adorable and unobtrusive. I felt a bit like a Pocahontas with animals flocking left, right and centre.

Back at the pool it was the US of A versus the Mexicans in a series of poolside challenges. The USA girls are all peachy skin, pearly white teeth gleaming, blonde hair and effervescent competitive spirit. The Mexicans are lean and lithe, tanned and taut with features like feral cats. The Americans put up a good fight but thanks to an injury and a girl who couldn’t sit on a balloon to save her life, the entertainers win.

Later that day we book a helluva lot of trips. We meet a couple straight out of a storybook. They become special friends to us later in the trip.

Breakfast (2 plates – getting less). I literally jump out of bed for breakfast here. I live like an animal. I’m only concerned with food and sleep and the in between is spent thinking about food and sleep.

Today is a beach day. 3 swims in the beautiful sea feeling free. I’ve started a book called ‘Spilled Blood’ which I’ll review later. Me and my dad both have a penchant for psychological thrillers. We are all given a free five minute massage – three big Mexican ladies coax a lot of the tension out of my shoulders. I can feel I’m tense because the massage is that kind of exquisitely painful – it’s good but if it lasted a second longer you might have to ask them to stop. We decide not to treat ourselves to proper, paid massages. We’re investing all our money in the trips. Besides I did treat myself twice in Thailand and they were considerably cheaper there.

Me and G bought matching white hats – Audrey Hepburn style- to wear during our first trip. We went to a different pool today. We passed our time under the bridge in the shade. I spent my time swimming widths and doing handstands. I feel energised and alive using my body (which was surely appreciative). It’s amazing what a difference movement makes. I spend so much of my time at home chained to my desk, that when I’m on holiday, I feel so much more energized just from a walk! Life in England is so ‘rooted’ – you really have to go out of your way to lead an active lifestyle.

I get a little bit ‘deep thinking’.  I realise what makes me happy about travel and holidays (one of the things) is that back home I feel a bit of a spiritual and cultural void. When I’m around nature, animals and people who participate in a culture (even if I don’t fit it) I usually feel that everything makes sense and contentment follows. The culture back home is more binge drinking and ‘The Only Way is Essex’. Hopefully I’ll take a little bit of the Mexican way of life home with me.

One thing I really hope to incorporate is the attitude of letting things go. Here, everything is ‘de nada’ (‘it’s nothing’). In Thailand, it’s ‘Mai pen rai’ (‘it’s nothing’). I’m not the type who easily lets go, so I love the flippancy and detachment of these sayings.

Day 4:

CAMEL RIDING DAY!

Most people will know (those who know we well) that I a massive animal person. I volunteered recently in Thailand with wildlife (the blog is yet to be written) and so I like to think I’m clued in as to the treatment of animals and the tourism industry. Unfortunately, I may have made an error here. We looked into the camel riding day as much as we possibly good and decided between ourselves that it seemed ethical and the animals appeared well treated. I always have massive internal debates with myself whenever animals are involved because I dislike them being used for entertainment/human purposes (however I am somewhat of a hypocrite as I’m not exactly a vegan activist myself).

The lovely couple we met whilst booking the trips are in our car (they’re going parasailing). I felt a little apprehensive this morning so I had a small breakfast. We arrive to the sounds of Mexican men strumming guitars and singing. One thing I should mention: the tips culture is VERY much alive here. You’re expected to tip people for EVERYTHING as this is where they make the bulk of their earnings. As such, everyone’s trying to impress you, clamour for your attention and put their best foot forward. Although it probably is, this never feels insincere.

We are briefed on how to approach and ride our camels: we always approach from the left, never the front or right, we sit on the back and lean back holding tightly as the camel lurches forwards and up. We can stroke the camels but not startle them. I was hoping to get Tara, the lead camel and by far the friendliest, gentlest and happiest. Instead I get a moody camel (let’s hope we weren’t matched by personality) that didn’t want to get up and had to be muzzled. When I query this later, I’m told that my camel can essentially be a bit of a jerk.

My ‘inner activist’ kicks in. I start to feel guilty that my camel doesn’t really want to take me anywhere and that if it wasn’t muzzled it would probably bite me to shreds and then not even bother to eat my remains. It’s quite exhilarating going up. You know you’re always told it’s not the amount of breaths you take, but the amount of moments that take your breath away? This was one of those moments. It’s the ‘plane takeoff’ feeling again – there’s a little tummy lurch and then you’re up and gone, a level higher than you were before, and camels are pretty high up. We could also have taken this trip on horseback, but camels felt like a more unusual and unique experience.

The rhythm of a camel is slow paced and relaxing. It’s not constant and stable like a horse trot. There’s a lot of ‘up/down’ and mild side to side lurching. Once you lean into it, it’s really quite nice. We followed a jungle path and stopped at the beach to give the camels a rest. This was where the already testy bond between myself and my camel reached a new low.

Before I get on, I stroke my muzzled camel with as much affection and love as I can muster. They are goofy pretty, with big, cow like brown eyes and long eye lashes, and silly faces that look a little cynical and murderous. My camel nestles into me and rests on my shoulder. Just as I open my mouth to say ‘awww’ (in fact I’m halfway through saying it), my camel takes a bipolar turn and sharply buts me in the shoulder. I feel a crash of pain, a splintering feeling, and fall back but not over. The pain shot right through me and I immediately felt sick and faint. I feel that sick that I can’t even speak. Instead, on autopilot, I get onto my camel and just as we set off, I feel I might pass out and fall off (I’m sure my camel would promptly trample me to death just to finish me off). Luckily my brother is not up on his psycho camel yet (it lurches up as soon as he puts one leg over) so he can rush over to me with water which seems to make a world of difference. We move on but the rest of the journey is grudgingly accepted for me because I LOATHE my camel and my camel loathes me, but he HAS to ferry me around and I HAVE to sit on him. Despite this I really enjoyed the experience and the privilege of being carried through a jungle walkway on a camel’s back. We eat a lunch at the beach and return to our hotel where we all have a long nap. I told you we were children.

Me and dad go for a walk and a swim whilst the others are still sleeping. I decided to go to the gym for a bit after the camels, which was a bad idea. My shoulder cained and I felt a little dizzier than before. The gym is small but it has everything you need. There’s a spa as well for pampering if all the exertion gets too much.

To summarise, Brendan Fraser never got butted by his camel in 'The Mummy'....

Day 6:

Today we see one of the 7 wonders of the world: Chichen Itza (I pronounced it ‘Chicken Itza’ at work). I wake up smothered in mosquito bites. I never can seem to vanquish the b******’s. My blood must be laced with heroin. I’m itchy as all hell in a straightjacket.

I pack my things; sun tan lotion (factor 50), camera, sunglasses, shoes, iPod. The car journey will be three hours and we have a breakfast box prepared for us by the concierge at the hotel.

We meet our couple friends in the lobby but unfortunately they aren’t in our car. Our journey is 3 hours in a small van of all Americans. Our guide is Sergio, a French Mexican who informs us that 20% of Mexicans are white European and he is one of them.

Chichen Itza was like being in the movie ‘Apocolypto’. It’s a fascinating, ethereal place with both an advanced and a primitive past. It’s fascinating to walk in a place where so much happened, both exalted and barbaric. I take so many pictures hoping to capture the eerie, hypnotic feel of the place, but I just can’t. If you clap three times, the clap echoes back to you from far away. The Mayans designed this place to be a place of astrology, science and precision. Everything is designed and accentuated for a purpose. This is of course the place where the prophecy that the world will end in 2012 was formed. I feel quite humbled to be in this magnificent place, both sinister and noble.

But the real highlight for me is swimming in the cenote – an underground water formation. We descend into a dark cave. The only light creeps in through a hole in the ceiling where a great trees detached roots dangled down. The cenote is lit from the inside by many lights that change colour. The water is chilly but makes you feel alive. This and Chichen Itza are two other moments that take my breath away. My body adjusts to the icy water and I swim as far as possible. I swim to the roots of the tree and around the cenote which is filled with fish. The cave is swirling with bats. I feel very peaceful and ‘Zen’ here, but then I do love water. Maybe it’s something to do with the fact that our bodies are primarily water, but when I’m in liquid, I feel healed and regenerated. If I could recommend one thing to do in Mexico, it would be to swim in a cenote.

Day 7:

I can’t divulge everything on a blog but one thing I’ve realised through my travels this year is the qualities that attract me in a man.

Obviously this isn’t set in stone. I’m not into macho, alpha male, materialism, not the contrived manly man that likes football, drinks beer and calls women ‘birds’. What I like is raw natural animalism. Are you into astrology? If you are, this man would have a Scorpio moon or be a Virgo, or something subtle and intense like that. Masculinity, like femininity, when real and unforced, is so powerful and seductive. You can tell a man playing at being a man a mile away. Likewise, you will meet a lot of little boys who think they are men. You’ll also meet a lot of men who are definitely men for sure, but don’t quite have the backbone or the intensity that you’d like. I quite admire and respect this type of man I’m noticing. It’s a hard thing to describe, but you know when you’ve met one because you feel it. Likewise I’m sure men feel the same when they meet a ‘true’ woman. But then again, this all depends on type. I’m liking the strong, silent, brooding type, but not in the ‘emo’ sense of the word. Maybe I need to get me a Native American Chief or something similar. I like these men that are ‘in tune’. They seem to understand what matters, like they’ve got their finger on the pulse of life.

Yesterday, we saw painted men re-enact a hunt and it was sexy as hell. These men were tall, muscled with amazing faces and a pure kind of confidence and purpose. They moved and looked like animals. Everyone sat watching them enchanted. I felt a little sad that something very animal has died in a lot of people. I don’t mean s****** on the carpet or sniffing someone’s butt, but something that’s really very simple, very sweet and very attractive in a person, but these guys had it, they’d held onto it (whatever ‘it’ is).

Today we spend the day at the beach where time stands still and thoughts lull in and out of your head. We re-meet the couple. We seem to find them everywhere. We exchange emails so that we can keep in touch. They’ve invited us to their home in Seattle and we’ve said they can stay with us in London.

Day 8:

Beach day! I swam 100 widths of the pool urged by D. We had a little discussion today over whether we could swim to what we thought was a distant island, but which was actually something like Cuba. He said no. But I said if I had a life jacket and was swimming for my life, I think I could. After those 100 widths I’m not so sure.

Day 9:

Today we were ‘trainers for a day’ working and interacting with dolphins, manatees, sting rays, sharks and sea lions. We looked into this thoroughly before parting with our money. The animals are very well treated and the company is rated as the best in the world for its treatment and care of the animals. The day started very interactively as our guide informed us about the park and set and concerns aside.

This was a really incredible experience for me again because it was in water and involved animals. The animals showed real personality and tenderness. We performed a kiss, cuddle, hand shake, foot press (naturally my pants fell down and I flashed everyone including my parents) and many other activities. Yes they are overpriced, but i bought all the pictures. We then saw more of the miracle of Mother Nature when an iguana ate a bird in front of us.

I think it’s important to look into things like this before doing them. Where animals are concerned it’s a sensitive issue, because you can’t always be sure if any exploitation is taking place. In this instance, we felt placated that things were fine, but if anyone knows any differently, please leave a comment on the blog. At the hotel, there were numerous picture opportunities with monkeys and birds, some of which were chained. Please refuse these offers whenever possible.

I’m starting to plan next year. A year that will make me feel alive. Get out of the rat race and the 9-5. Maybe less money but maximised happiness?

Day 10:

Every guest at the hotel is entitled to a free pendant from Lapis jewellery shop. The pendant is your name written in the Mayan alphabet. You must use between 4 and 7 characters, but my name is 8, so I used my middle name, Layla, for the pendant.

Naturally, once we were inside the shop, we were assigned a lady named Monica, who urged us to look around the shop to see if we were interested in making any purchases. At first, stoic and tenacious, I told myself I would resist buying any jewellery.

1)      I’m trying to save

2)      I have a free pendant

We left the store with some beautiful pieces. It was all on a very kind and generous dad. Our purchases were so extravagant that the manager slashed our spending by half. My favourite of my purchases, which included 2 pairs of earrings and a changeable, three stone ring was a fire opal bracelet. Just the words ‘fire opal’ made me have to own it. I felt like a phoenix or a human flame thrower or something. It’s a beautiful, subtle bracelet of orange, yellow and green that really pops and crackles on a tanned arm (hoping it will still look as good when the tan fades).

The two extra links of the bracelet where cut off and made into earrings. Monica lamented how small my hands and wrists were so we had to wait a while for pieces to be ‘scaled down’ for me. The Turkish attendee Baba took a shine to me shall we say...he could be found playing with my hair.

Day 11:

Today we rise early and head to Koba (pronounced Kobe-haa). Koba is the last of the pyramids that you can climb and you won’t be able to climb it at all next year. This is something that me and my dad really wanted to experience. We really wanted to be able to say ‘we’ve climbed a pyramid!’ It seemed like such an Indiana Jones thing to do.

We had a brief talk from our guide Daniel and then walked the 2km path to the Koba pyramid. We were told it would take about twenty minutes to climb up and another twenty to climb down. In blazing heat, this did not appeal.

Me, D and dad began to climb. The steps are an odd assortment; some narrow, some broad, and there is one rope running alongside the centre to keep climbers stable. The three of us managed it very quickly. I climbed at a crawl, gripping the rope. The view at the top was a lush canopy of jungle as far as I could see – just a great stretch of emerald green. I experienced a little vertigo, probably a mixture of heat, exertion and another moment and sight that just took my breath away. My legs shook like jelly but I made it back down on my butt. I felt I’d really accomplished something by doing this. We were driven back down the path which was another exhilarating little thrill.

Day 12:

Today we set sail with J and E (my cousin and his girlfriend) to try to find and swim with some whale sharks. There are only two places in the world where you can locate whale sharks – this park of Mexico and Australia. I was quite apprehensive about this one. Of all the things we’d done this was the one that filled me with quiet dread.

I wasn’t even scared about the whale sharks. They are very docile and placid (if very large). But I was scared of jumping off the boat and being junked up with a snorkel, goggles and flippers. I get ever so slightly claustrophobic all bound up like that.

Our journey on the boat was fun as we hit the waves and listened to music. It wasn’t long before we found where all the other boats had gathered. Whale sharks were circulating nearby...loads of them. Apparently they like the interaction with humans. You keep a distance and you never touch them or they shrink away. The sharks swim near you curiously but keep a safe distance too. The others went in first and G’s bravery pushed me to do it too. I felt sick as I sat on the sight of the boat but in we jumped. Seeing the whale sharks up close was very memorable and I’m glad I chose to do it. They are neither whales nor sharks, despite the name – instead they are really just oversized fish.

It was interesting to see their big gaping mouths coming towards us. Despite my fear, I am so proud and happy that I swam with the sharks. We then set sail to the ‘Isle of Women’ or ‘Women Island’ – a beautiful island boasting crystal clear waters – the most beautiful I’ve seen and pure white sand. We ate shrimp from plastic cups and drank coronas in the sea whilst tiny fish nibbled E. I bought an ‘I swam with whale sharks’ top. I can officially say I have now! All proceeds go to the conservation of the species.

Back at the hotel me and mum had hotdogs and I couldn’t resist feeding one of the baby coatis who bounded towards me like a bright eyed bushy tailed Disney character.

Later that day in the shower, I have a moment of pure contentment as the warm water hits me. I feel lucky, happy and grateful. I have water to drink, food to eat, a roof over my head and a holiday full of memories.

Day 13:

I’ve started a book called ‘Me and my Sisters’ (review to follow) which tells the tale of three sisters and what it means to be a modern day woman. This is a topic I find interesting seeing as there is no typical man or woman anymore. We all find our own way in life now which can be wildly disorienting or chaotically fun. I’ve mentioned before that currently I don’t want to be a wife or mother and I have certain opinions on relationships and marriage etc right now that are probably not typically traditional. I guess I’m learning what all this means to me. Right now I want adventures and experiences and I’m figuring a lot of things out about what makes me happy and gives my life meaning. I’m already learning what doesn’t make me happy and that’s 9-5 office life and it’s also not London (at the moment anyway).

This book was just what I needed right now. It’s helping to put into perspective that there is no right way to live a life. However you live your life, someone will criticise and judge, so it really is of paramount importance that you live a life that you can respect and enjoy. There is only ever a series of different roads that you can choose to go down or ignore. Only you know if the road you walk is worth it, or if you’re curious to take a walk down another.

What to study? Where to go? Who to give your heart to? Babies or no babies? If so, when? What job will fulfil you? Where should you live?

We have so many choices that these questions have gone from simple to impossible. Some people are born knowing. Some are clueless. Most of us are figuring it out.

I’m realising if I follow my heart and instincts, I can’t regret too much. The times when I’ve followed these senses have brought me the most happiness AND the most pain (aka LIVING!). I guess I’m quite excited to see where life will take me and all of my friends if we’re brave enough to just go with the flow. Where will we all end up?

We met a bouncy American girl selling tickets to Coco Bongo. She reflected this whole idea perfectly. Her parents were horrified that she was essentially selling tickets on a beach but she was loving it. She was living. She was happy. So is happiness really money? Is it really success? Is it just the tiniest, littlest place where you find bliss?

Me and mum sit and talk for ages about life and love looking out over the water at night. We walk to the beach and stumble across a wedding celebration. Singing, wild dancing and the beautiful wilderness of a dark beach.

Day 14:

What’s weird about diaries is that you’re always writing them a day after. This is D day. We’re off home. I’ve really loved this experience. It’s a beautiful, welcoming and hospitable place where you can chill out and relax or immerse yourself in Mexican living. I’m sad to go home. I can already feel the malaise of England, but for now it’s inspired me to make this year and next, bigger, better and happier.

Quick tips for travellers:

  • Mexico is renowned as a dangerous country. The Maya Riviera is a very safe and secure area filled with resorts. We encountered no troubles here

  • The resorts are primarily popular with American and Canadian travellers

  • Please investigate and research any activities/days out involving animals as there is always a risk of exploitation, even if you are coerced into feeling that your money is benefitting the animals. Please do not allow yourself to be pictured with any wild animals

  • You are expected to tip!

  • There are several trips you can go on from visiting Chichen Itza, climbing Koba (if you have a real interest in doing this, do it before the year is out!), swimming in cenotes, zipwiring and much more

  • If possible, make time to visit a Mayan village

  • Be prepared for mosquitoes – lots of them!

  • Embrace the Mexican way of life – ‘de nada!’

Wednesday, 11 July 2012

The Big Year

The Big Year Trailer

What would you do if you had one year in which you could do anything? Chances are it wouldn’t be bird spotting, but Brad Harris (Jack Black), Kenny Bostick (Owen Wilson) and Stu Preissler (Steve Martin) are doing exactly that, participating in a ‘Big Year’. During this year, they have to ‘spot’ as many birds as possible, from the common to the elusive. The participant with the most spots (no, not the acne kind) is crowned King (or Queen) of the Big Year. The previous Birder of the year, Bostick (Wilson) is desperate to defend his maddeningly excessive record of 732, abandoning his wife Jessica (Rosamund Pike) and their attempts to conceive a child in order to ascertain who of the frenetic bird watchers are his foes and opponents.

The film is an intriguing look at the reality of following our dreams.

Firstly, when you confess your dreams, most people will bluntly state: what the f***?  You’re giving up X, Y, Z to do WHAT? Or look at you with dementedly confused acceptance. The reality is, one person’s dream is another’s nightmare (or night in). Brad (divorced and unemployed at 36) has a father who simply cannot fathom his sons passion for birding and his desire to derail a year of his life in pursuit of cries, calls and sightings, instead of getting his s*** together. Stu’s firm cannot comprehend why he would throw away a lifetime building up a successful business just to abandon it overnight for a flight of fancy, and Kenny’s wife is infuriated and devastated that furry critters come first for her distanced, compulsive husband, leaving her very much a bird in her own cage struggling to keep the day to day running in his absence.

Secondly, what is your reason for pursuing this dream?

For Kenny, its glory, the cementing of his success, an achievement, which he  viciously guards like a mother hen fending off potential challengers to her young. Kenny would forsake a family and the actual continuation of his name and lineage for a title and the status and accomplishment that comes with that.

For Stu, it’s a shot at another kind of big time, away from business and board rooms.

For Brad, it’s about doing something that he genuinely wants to do.

Thirdly, what allows you to follow a dream?

For Brad, its easy….he’s already messed up his life. There is no real risk or danger. Without a job or family, he has the freedom to make mistakes and act for his own interests.

For Stu, it’s a supportive wife and the assurance to walk away from an established, decade’s long career.

For Kenny, it’s sheer tenacity and willpower to pursue that dream to the brink of the horizon and back.

Finally, what fulfilment do you receive from chasing or reaching that dream?

For Stu and Kenny, the contentment is in the taking part, the journey, even if both had a strong thirst to win.

For Bosick, the measuring stick is the victory at the end. He doesn’t have time to forge genuine friendships or nurture his outside obligations along the way.

It seems there are two types of dream chasers (there are probably more but maths was never my strong point).

The type that chase a dream for the view along the way, and the type that are out to meet an end goal.

I enjoyed this exploration of three men chasing a dream, all for different reasons and with different expectations, sacrifices and results.

You might remember the three leading men and star chasers for their comedic roles – Jack Black (School of Rock/Tropic Thunder), Owen Wilson (Zoolander/Wedding Crashers) and Martin (The Pink Panther/Cheaper by the Dozen) and although there are moments of hilarity, this is a touching drama and is unusually interesting despite the potentially dry subject matter. Don’t write this off as ‘just a film about birds’. It’s really a film about dreams and what we give up to chase them.

Sunday, 17 June 2012

Words of wisdom...

I absolutely love reading what are essentially 'shopping lists' of peoples wisdom, advice and guidance. I turn to them when I need a quick pick me up and to remember that which is vital and that which is irrelevent in the grand scheme of things.

None of the advice I'm going to list below is anything new. It's all tried and tested, well worn cliche, but the words spoken most often are the ones which carry the most meaning and relevance.

Here is my list for this year so far. I hope it picks someone up the way countless lists have picked me up before!

1. Personality and character are not one and the same.

Some people have truly magnetic, infectitious, amazingly contagious vivacious personalities, but their morals and intentions are questionable at best. It’s easy to be blinded and dazzled by a brilliant personality, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that a person will have a strong character. 'The bad guy' can be curiously charming, the school bitch strangely engaging but these are just shallow surface characteristics and not a representation of the real person.

2. Your dreams, wishes and desires are never all that far away.

When you're sitting still and silent and wishing for something will all your heart, that thing never seems further away but the gap between simply dreaming, wishing or desiring, and achieving and fulfilling that dream, wish or desire is ridiculously narrow, so much so that once you have the thing that you've always wanted, you can still look back over the chasm between having and not having and you might still catch sight of your old self dreaming.

3. You are always capable of conquering the things that scare you most.

Sometimes we are left in awe of how brave and courageous other people are. We think that courage is something other people have, not something in ourselves, but truthfully no one is more competent or capable that you are, even if they appear to be. What you want is not simply 'not for you'. Every person has the potential to achieve their dreams and face up to the things that scare them.

4. Let...it...go

Nothing in life belongs to us. We create meaning through semantics, through symbols, through titles. We create ownership, we create sense, we create logic, but nothing is ours. Not a single person or a single object or a single place ever really belongs to you, and we only realise that once we lose the thing we thought was ours. There is nothing to fear about this because everything is bound together here on earth and everything is connected in some way, but nothing belongs to us and we belong to nothing. There is great freedom in this. Don't fear it. Clinging and digging in hurts, but letting go eases. We can all let go of any thought or any feeling at any time.

5. Life is not a check list.

Too many of us rush through life as if bound by a stop watch. We think if we can just bundle in x, y and z within a certain amount of time, we will attain contentment, fulfullment and success. We will have found a way to define our lives through a purpose. I can't count the people I know who follow a preconceived formula of what equates to happiness, and worse, those who rush through that formula without enjoying the moments.

The formula goes something like this: school, uni, partner, marriage, kids.

Now so much of my blog chastises this way of life and I don't mean to appear out of allignment with traditions and culture, but this simply does not equal happiness for all, and if all follow it, many will be deeply disconcerted and dissillusioned. Similarly, sometimes the steps follow at different times. It's like jumping on stepping stones; you might have the baby before the wedding, or the marriage before the degree.

Eke out your own path to happiness. Mix up the steps. Don't rush. Take time. Be still. Enjoy the moments. Think about what makes YOU happy and not what has made other people happy. Ignore the expectations and desires of others for you. Seek out happiness in the ways and places and people that you find it. Everything has a right time and a right place in every life. Don't force things.

6. Fear is like fog. It dissipates once you enter into it.

Every person is stronger than they could ever imagine. You only realise how strong you truly are once you look back at the things you’ve achieved, the traumas you’ve been through and the situations you’ve survived.

7. You can be proud of the little things

Waking up on time, doing the dishes, smiling at a stranger - the little things are just as important as the larger, grander acts. The bigger picture wouldn't exist without the smallest gestures.

8. It's not love that's scary, but loss

Nobody is afraid of love itself but of the losing of love, but if you can be a source of love despite your fear, you will truly feel alive. No one ever looks back and regrets that they’ve loved, even if they were hurt, wounded or mistreated. The giving of love requires fearlessness and bravery but also freedom from expectations and conditions. Never regret that you’ve loved. It’s rare and precious and most of us don’t experience it enough. Don't let fear of future loss stop you loving now.

9. Treasure the butterflies that land on you before they fly away

Never regret what you’ve lost or given away. We all lose things; people, things, money. Be happy you had them but don’t regret that you’ve lost them. Never hold on too tight to things that were never truly yours. Titles like boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wive indicate ownership, but we never own another person. Let go of that which doesn’t belong to you and treasure what is given to you for however long you have it.

10. Don't let nostalgia forget future

It can be great to reflect on the past and recall fond memories. It is also essential to learn from past experiences, but do not spend so much time in the past that you lose sight of the future. The present moment and what we do with it indicates what becomes of our future. If you let the present moment disapear, you aren't actively shaping or engaging your future potential and possibilities.

11. Life can be hard, but don't let it make you hard

Life can be horrifically traumatic at times and in a multitude of ways; poverty, disease and illness, death, abandonment, infidelity, lose of love, boredom, abuse - the list is endless. Many people conquer the most adverse of situations and experiences with a smile on their face and compassion in their hearts. Others weather immense storms simply to become bitter, cold and cruel. None of us can predict or premeditate what hand life will deal with us, but do not let past experiences or the cruelty of people or the misfortunes of your life so far spoil and corrode your future, because there is always the chance and opportunity for peace, calm and healing. Some of the greatest, kindest and strongest healers have overcome the most harrowing and horrible of lifes experiences.

12. Do what you love

If you like drawing, draw. If you like swimming, swim. Even if you can't make a career out of it, do it. So many people I speak to give up on a passion or interest because it didn't end up becoming a career. It doesn't need to make you money. If it makes you happy, make sure you find a place for it.

13. Listen to your inner child

Laugh at silly things, trust people, speak your mind, use your imagination, be creative. Some of our best attributes flourish in childhood and diminish as we grow. When you want to give up, remember you were once a child with dreams. NEVER give up on that child and never let them down.

14. A partner won't complete you

If you feel like half a person, you'll always feel like half a person. You'll be a leech and parasite to any partner because they make you feel secure, wanted and alive, but like an addict you'll always want more until you leech your source dry completely. It's a massive cliche, but completeness can only be found inside of yourself, enhancement can be found externally. Your world won't end if you lose a partner, nor will it magically transform if you find one - not if you can't be happy with who you are.

15. Nobody really cares...

So what if someone gossips about you for 5 minutes? Truthfully, it amounts to boredom and insecurity. Nobody really cares all that much so don't make their molehills your mountains.

16. Ignore the clock (when you can)

When you're a kid an hour is forever, darkness indicates the end of playtime and sunshine indicates a new day. The clock doesn't need to dictate what you do and when you do it.

17. Be proud of who you are and respect what you are not

Most people are obsessed with categorising; male, female, black, white, Christian, Muslim, etc etc. These categories do exist for a reason, but unfortunately most people tend to resent what they are and long for what they are not. One of the ways this manifests that I witnessed recently on my travels is the tendancy for darker skinned peoples to bleach their skin and lighter skinned folk to tan their skin. Appreciate and feel pride for what and who you are. Do not covet what someone else has or is, because you are beautiful exactly because you are different to them. It is the differences, not the similarities that set you apart and make you unique. If you're fair skinned, you were made that way for a reason. Ditto to the dark skinned! This is applicable in all areas; women have great strengths and men have great strengths. Do not feel envy for what you aren't. Feel pride and gratitude for what you are.

18. Find a role model and be a role model

People underestimate how important it is to have someone to look up and something to aspire to. Seek out the right role models, and when you have gained or succeeded in any way, be a role model to anyone lost or confused behind you.

19. See the world

You don’t need to travel for ten years but see places and know people. In this way, you can break lose from the shackles of culture, customs, religion and society and figure out who you are and what you believe in through your own preferences. Learn how others perceive love and dating (the Thai sniff kiss is to die for!), gender roles, perceptions of the world, cuisine and food, the concept of time and entertainment. Allow the world to enhance you.

20. DO IT, DO IT, DO IT

All you have is now. DO IT

21. Treat your body like a temple, not a dust bin

Bad food, bad drink, bad partners, bad habits, we all indulge in a little badness, but treat your body with the utmost respect whenever you can. Eat well, drink well, sleep well and exercise well. You have a lifetime in which to abuse or sustain your body, the only home you’ll ever truly have. Treat it with as much care as you can.

22. Feel pleasure

I don’t know why humanity loves demonizing pleasure. Pleasure energises, relaxes and enlivens. Do not be ashamed to feel pleasure.

Quote Blog: The World is your Oyster

The world is your oyster...



But you have to dig deep...