Monday, 9 September 2013

The 10 best things that Alan has ever done

1.       Stick his cheese in Tony Hayers face

2.       Dump his girlfriend Jill for pouring chocolate mousse over him. Everyone knows that’s just demented

3.       Thrown up inside a podium

4.       Trod on a spike

5.       Gorged on Toblerone and drove to Dundee in bare feet

6.       Shot a guest

7.       Got Pat sacked...

8.       Lived in a travel tavern

9.       Narrowly avoided a threesome

10.   Passed off a stalkers home as his own and then sped away referring to him as a mentalist